Comments on: Oops, I forgot to kill the shark. (More ending to come)

By: Jonadab the Unsightly One

Jonadab the Unsightly One — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 01:59:07 +0000

Personally, I rather like the ambiguity regarding Excelsior’s fate. After what he exchanged with Edwin on the mountain, I don’t think his fate directly matters to the conclusion of this novel; certainly it doesn’t have any bearing on Edwin’s decision. Of course it would be important to know in the sequel, probably pretty early in the sequel, but at the end of the first book it’s largely immaterial. If one thing has become clear about Excelsior in this book, it’s that Edwin can generally handle him. Not as precisely as he’d like to, and not as well as Gus, but Edwin always seems to handle him nonetheless. This is shown several times (at the Lazeradicator test site, and again in court), but the way he manipulated him on the golf course is the most telling. What makes things interesting is that he can’t *completely* handle him all the time, as the showdown in Edwin’s office with Dr. Loeb proves.

As far as how Edwin gets down off the mountain, you could close that up just by slightly altering the phone conversation with Agnes, so that she directly engages Barry right after arranging transportation, rather than before. Or she plans to do that and says so, and Edwin doesn’t get to warn her off because of Excelsior’s interference. Or some other minor edit. It should be an easy thing to clear up.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say is, I enjoyed the story. I don’t usually go in for superhero-genre stories or comic book stuff, but this one was interesting. Edwin’s character and attitude really make the whole thing work.

By: Angie

Angie — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:26:18 +0000

Sadly, I too missed “the point”. I’ve been waiting patiently for you to return from vacation or wherever. With my patience wearing thin, and desperation at an all time high, I came here. And found out it’s basically OVER?! No, no, Excelsior was not exposed for all to see, he didn’t even get the ass kicking he deserved! And someone must pay for Agnes Plantagenet.

I love this story. My commute will never be the same…

By: John Harrison

John Harrison — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 21:04:47 +0000

I’ve enjoyed listening to the story so far, but I’m a little puzzled about Edwin’s fall into “evil.” Is he really now devoted to spreading more tragedy and suffering in the world? The worst of the comic book villains often are out to wipe out civilization or blow up the world-not just settle a few scores. Excelsior seems like a greater loose cannon who could potentially bring about more collateral damage and despair than Edwin ever will. I’d love to hear how Excelsior’s fall gets resolved.

By: Berman

Berman — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:12:50 +0000

Just wanted to say, been loving the new HTSAE episodes. You brought Edwin’s character out very nicely this time around. I think your readers are hitting the nail on the head. You hit the challenge, the true challenge of the story. Edwin has decided to be evil. He has not yet done any better than his previous employers. I am feeling like Edwins true “evil” will be in destroying Excelsior (Sp?). That climax will be his true flag in the ground victory moment.

Or maybe he adopts a dog. Who knows. Loving your work man.

By: Pavlina

Pavlina — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:51:31 +0000

Yes. It was lovely. I always wondered why Edwin turned evil as it wasn’t inherently “logical” is it? Thank you for the story.

By: Derian

Derian — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 06:55:58 +0000

I’ll join the chorus in hoping that Excelsior gets more screen time. After all that excellent character development, just a few words about him getting pasted off-screen is a massive anti-climax.

I hope he comes back in HtSiE 2, or at least has a satisfying end in the remaining chapters.

By: Akash

Akash — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 17:12:11 +0000

The only thing which I felt was lacking was conclusion on Excelsior’s front.
We have, in the beginning all of the Excelsior chapters where we learn about his thoughts and backstory. Then the two come into conflict after which we see Edwin’s resolve and resolution, but Excelsior just disapears.

By: William

William — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 15:01:36 +0000

It’s a great story. Much more polished than the original podcast. I love it, I just hope there’s more on the way… I feel like you still have a lot more of the story to tell.

By: phignewton

phignewton — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:01:00 +0000

more shark!

By: sidfaiwu

sidfaiwu — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 16:02:10 +0000

I was going to make an original comment but Ms. Danson said pretty much what I was planning and did a much better job of it than I would have.

By: Scott

Scott — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:40:08 +0000

Good to hear we’ll be getting more! When it ended I thought I had missed something. It turned out that what I missed was, in fact, the point.

By: Mole204

Mole204 — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 06:20:25 +0000

Much like Edwin explaining things to the punk in the cell (HTSIE comic) I hope this makes everything clear. Not too clear, but just clear enough to know that everything is set up.
-
“Oh, I _forgot_ about the shark!”
How very James Bond villian of you.

By: Adrian

Adrian — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 17:43:00 +0000

Awesome. I did find the ending lacking in closure. Thank you for listening the fans.

By: Ms. Danson

Ms. Danson — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 11:06:38 +0000

Yes. That *is* what went wrong.

I love the story of how Edwin turns to evil and why. That was very satisfying (beyond all the great one liners). But in the process of telling Edwin’s story you also got us to care about Excelsior’s story (care as in want to see him get what’s coming to him). Having Excelsior be plastered across the concrete “off stage” was pretty unsatisfying.

Stylistically, it read more of a first season (to be continued… next season) than a first book (which tends to be more wrapped up so that it can stand alone).

I was hesitant to say anything about it because I wasn’t sure if you wanted it to be picked apart and I didn’t want to give the impression that I wasn’t thrilled with the story. You’ve done something excellent here and a bit of editing will just make it more excellent.

I am serious about the “let me buy you a drink” thing.

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 10:15:10 +0000

The internal story arc; the step by step process the pushes Edwin toward Evil is well done. I thought that using golf to force Excelsior to betray his ideal was well done but in some way didn’t quite cut the mustard. Betrayal of ideals is central to the story but the choice of Golf fell out of the blue rather than fitting into the story arc. It made the Trial scene and the build up to it irrelevant. But what are you going to do? Edwin’s Machiavellian machinations (throwing a Golf game to achieve a hidden objective) is one of the stories repeating themes.

But more centrally, the struggle between Edwin’s internal daemons and how this affects the external world is the core of the story. For that matter it is the core of people’s lives. How do my own strengths and weaknesses, coupled with my desires to excel affect those around me?

So I’d say that the story is half done. Personally, the episode of the original sketches that I liked best was that in which Edwin has to fold shop, shred the evidence and duck out of town. There, the story is full circle. How the World responds to Edwin’s machinations is the denouement. (along with the nifty images of accountants aimlessly strolling off into the darkness, their mission completed. It has a real Enron edge to it.)

By: Bret

Bret — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:47:33 +0000

Things I’m hoping to hear:
Excelsior is bent then broken. Does he go Captain Hammer (end of Dr. Evil), crying to a psych, or maybe more Alonzo (Training day), good man turned bad?
Is Dr. Loeb still in play or has his purpose been played as a credit card?
Does Topper betray Edwin this time? Does he get some more motivation for it? As a man with full (dis)respect for the law, I was a little troubled to see him turn so fast on his good friend last time around.
More info on Edwin’s father and how Edwin came about?
Do we get to see more superheroes? Do they get the beat down too?
Oh and it would be nice to see the gent from the mansion again, the one that Edwin hinted at wanting to hire. I have an affinity for the sane man in an insane world.

Just thought I’d throw my two cents in. Love the story, the first time and the second. Thank you so much for writing it.

By: Alan Gains

Alan Gains — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 03:35:04 +0000

Me personally, I liked the ending. It was a rather nice sequel hook, as it goes. Edwin’s gone “Evil”; now we want to see if he can accomplish his goals.

I personally can’t wait for what comes next. I wonder, what will he call the next book? “How to Succeed in Evil” would still apply, I suppose, but it’d get a mite confusing in a multi-volume work.

By: CJ Wellman

CJ Wellman — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:36:04 +0000

And here I thought it was just me going emo over ‘Evil’ ending
Thanks for the update and looking forward to … more ending.

Oh, and here is a a little Jaws for inspiration:
Shark.. _______/\______/_____ Help!!

By: Bob-Tom

Bob-Tom — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:33:23 +0000

I thought you wrapped it up rather well. I thought you were intentionally leaving out things to keep us interested. For example what happened to Excelsior? Having said that I do miss having a new episode five times a week. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think its fine the way it is but if you want to put sprinkles on the well iced cake then it sounds good to me.

Best wishes,
-BT