How to Succeed in Evil is not a self-help page for the maladjusted. It it is the story of Edwin Windsor, Evil Efficiency Consultant. He's like Arthur Anderson for Supervillians.
There he is. There was something I’ve been waiting for. Edwin, angry and purposeful. I don’t think he’d ever admit to being angry, he is. Go Edwin, Go!
Well, that certainly resolves the question of Excelsior. Though if Gus ever does figure out where Edwin hid the body, I imagine the next “ultimate battle” will not go so well for the efficiency consultant.
Great story, though I’m still looking forward to the sequel.
Gotta wonder though: can Excelsior survive having his lungs filled with concrete? In this episode, he’s survived having a building fall on him, two weeks without food or water, a whole lot of fine dust inhalation. A lung full of concrete probably won’t be pleasant, but will it kill him, or just render him totally immobile (and conscious) under a monument of himself? And how would he act after a month or two in that condition?
Anyway, great, great story. I loved having the longer format too. Looking forward to more!
I’m sure the thought of Excelsior languishing, trapped for eternity under his own statue won’t keep Edwin up at night. Is Excelsior still alive? Perhaps, but I for one wouldn’t be overly troubled if he spent the next ten or twenty volumes of HtSiE aging underground like a fine amontillado.
An excellent conclusion to a wonderful story. I’ve following this series slavishly, and I’ve loved the dry humour, insightful thoughts on how superpowers (don’t) work when physics is brought into play, and the sarcasm in parodying a genre where good and evil are no longer absolute.
Tell me when it reaches print. I’ll be buying a copy ASAP.
One hero down, and a whole notebook’s worth to go through. Edwin is methodically dismantling the world Gus and those he works for in such a way that his little debt is going to paid in fully.
Loved Gus saying, I’d kill for a Cigarette.
Nice leaving the little portion of the clean up crew hearing the voice. But forgetting about it considering that they may just have another dead person that needed to be shipped to the morgue.
The more I think about it the more Edwin reminds me of the Buddha teaching King Monkey patience by burying him under a mountain in ‘Journey to the West’ 西遊記 :p
wow. up until now, the fact that edwin really is insane didn’t fully hit me. I thought he was trying to show Excelsior the error of his ways, with the intention of releasing him back into the world free of the Government’s grasp. (With some angle in it for Edwin enterprises of course) But he instead just wanted revenge, and used his big brain justify it to himself. If Edwin truly believes that one man with too much power is bad, then he should have sat down in the concrete slurry himself – his brains are just as disproportionately powerful harmful to “regular folk” as Excelsior ’s brawn. If he didn’t allow Excelsior the luxury of ignorance as an excuse, he shouldn’t allow it for himself either. Instead he has deluded himself,despite his inordinate brain power, into thinking concentrated power is bad, unless it is in Edwin’s hands.
“Edwin truly believes that one man with too much power is bad”
I’m not sure Edwin believes that. I think he was telling Excelsior what he should believe if Excelsior is to consider himself a hero.
“But he instead just wanted revenge, and used his big brain justify it to himself.”
That’s true, I think. Excelsior hurt Edwins business, so eliminating him makes sense. Getting Excelsior to choose to be entombed, that’s torture. That’s revenge.
Or… a ploy to prevent Excelsior from trying to escape and/or something to hold Excelsior back (for a while) if he does ever get out.
Burying the “hero” in the concrete is villainous, but it’s *practical* in a way that would appeal to Edwin’s rationally evil mind, if you assume that Excelsior, alive and free, causes Edwin more trouble than he’s worth.
The apparently irrational part of Edwin’s behavior here, IMO, would be bothering to go down and *talk* to Excelsior and convince him of the whole thing, instead of just pouring in the concrete and giving Excelsior no option.
If you allow the possibility that Edwin *is* still being rational, then it follows that the little chat was necessary in order to effect some purpose. Under that assumption, I think you’d be forced to the inescapable conclusion that Edwin expects Excelsior to get out again at some point, probably during Edwin’s lifetime. Otherwise, why tell him anything? The only possible rational reason to have the chat is so that Excelsior will spend the next N months wallowing in regret, rather than just anger. The only rational reason to want that is because it allows him to later be manipulated in more useful ways, if and when he gets out. Edwin’s been manipulating Excelsior for a while, sometimes quite successfully, especially on the golf course. He might still have a use for him. Potentially.
Of course, Excelsior might not get out during the next book. But even if he does not, it will remain a possibility for later, *especially* if Gus is still around and looking for the body.
Hmm. My above comment does not manage to indicate how huge a fan I am of the entire Edwin series. Well, I am. How do I donate to the “make more Edwin” fund?
Of course this is just speculation, but the way I read Gus’s miraculous recovery suggested to me that Excelsior isn’t dead, just entombed.
And hey, a decade under concrete will probably mellow him out a bit :p
yeah, as a reader we can assume that’s the case. But I think Edwin was pretty sure he was killing him.
I think it will either mellow him out or make him insane. If he comes back insane and starts wreaking havoc, maybe Edwin would finally realize he’s not perfect
Excellent ending. I’m left wondering if there is some sort of trick to Gus’ recovery though. If there is something more about him that we don’t know. I don’t think he’s any sort of superhero. That’s obvious from the story so far. But I wouldn’t put it past the people Gus works for to play around with certain advanced and highly unethical technologies to keep him alive. Not young and healthy, mind you, so that he might enjoy it. Just alive enough to remain useful to them. I can picture him finding out, and being pretty pissed off about it.
Good stuff. Really, good show. THIS is the end we were all expecting from Edwin.
Just one thing, it’s minor, but I thought it should be mentioned and since no one else here has…
The mission Edwin takes up him self, of _extermination_ seems perfectly inline with his character and the story so far. It ties very nicely with “Edwin walking the hall” where in he debates exactly the same dichotomy. It really fits.
Sadly the same cannot be said of his sudden ambition to “take over the world.” This is why the old ending rang false for us diehard fans.
Getting to the point, the problem has become an inherent contradiction, with the chapters 68-70 making it seem like he was moving forward towards world domination, while the “true ending” or epilogue makes him move towards the extermination of “harmful” super”heroes”.
The two just don’t work together.
It’s a minor problem, but I just wanted to put it out there.
I don’t know if it rings really false that he would move towards world domination. His drive for world domination doesn’t really seem to be about power. It seems to be more about the fact that he can’t stand looking at the world the way it is. It’s too inefficient. Edwin likes it best when things work the way he knows they should. His drive to exterminate superheroes is a part of that desire for world domination because superheroes are part of the problem that he is attempting to solve.
The point is not whether they can be resolved by the same logic, or thought of in line with one another. The problem is that they are fundamentally different ways to move forward, different paths towards the ultimate goal of a world sound in reason.
Extermination of superheroes is making the world rational by removing the destabilizing element. I.E. An identification of a specific problem and a direct solution
Taking over the world is making it rational by ensuring he is in a position to determine everything, and then making rational choices for irrational people. I.E. more of a general solution to the irrationality of man, and then a direct solution: Making the choices for them.
It just is a problem of the scope/approach that Edwin has for the future.
The completion of this new version caught me off guard and I’ve just spent an obsessive several hours listening to the story. Half way through, something started bugging me and at the end my biggest complaint was that I don’t see anyway on the sight to give the author money. >:D
After listening to this I had to go back and listen to the whole story again, which is why I’m only posting this comment now.
I have to echo the words of others in saying that I am in love with this story, and with the powerful way it’s ended. If it doesn’t get published I will be extremely disappointed in every person who had it pass through their fingers.
I’ve also got to say that I support the addition of a donation button to the site, or maybe a store? Anything to give you a little revenue in return for the wonderful journey through Edwin’s development. As an aspiring writer you are one of my greatest role models, and I look forward to anything else from you in the future.
I enjoyed the whole story, and like everyone else, will be waiting for the sequel, because obviously its set up for a sequel. I adore Edwin, thank you.
My first exposure to Edgar Allen Poe was your hauntingly delivered reading of “A Cask of Amontillado” a while back. I can’t help but think your fascination with Poe’s writing influenced Excelsior’s mode of demise. Well adapted.
It’s been great listening to you grow as a writer. Honestly, this latest rendition of HTSiE is more than a few notches above the early “A Vampire in the Attic.”
Keep on chuggin’. Can’t wait to see how Gus manages after three months of muscular inactivity.
Probably the best voice acting I’ve every heard on a podcast!
Great story for the epilogue too! You’re truly a master Patrick!
There he is. There was something I’ve been waiting for. Edwin, angry and purposeful. I don’t think he’d ever admit to being angry, he is. Go Edwin, Go!
Nice.
Well, that certainly resolves the question of Excelsior. Though if Gus ever does figure out where Edwin hid the body, I imagine the next “ultimate battle” will not go so well for the efficiency consultant.
Great story, though I’m still looking forward to the sequel.
That was *excellent*. Can’t wait for book 2.
Gotta wonder though: can Excelsior survive having his lungs filled with concrete? In this episode, he’s survived having a building fall on him, two weeks without food or water, a whole lot of fine dust inhalation. A lung full of concrete probably won’t be pleasant, but will it kill him, or just render him totally immobile (and conscious) under a monument of himself? And how would he act after a month or two in that condition?
Anyway, great, great story. I loved having the longer format too. Looking forward to more!
I’m sure the thought of Excelsior languishing, trapped for eternity under his own statue won’t keep Edwin up at night. Is Excelsior still alive? Perhaps, but I for one wouldn’t be overly troubled if he spent the next ten or twenty volumes of HtSiE aging underground like a fine amontillado.
An excellent conclusion to a wonderful story. I’ve following this series slavishly, and I’ve loved the dry humour, insightful thoughts on how superpowers (don’t) work when physics is brought into play, and the sarcasm in parodying a genre where good and evil are no longer absolute.
Tell me when it reaches print. I’ll be buying a copy ASAP.
Many thanks for your delightful production!
Really great writing on this one!
I do wish every chapter could be this long :p
One hero down, and a whole notebook’s worth to go through. Edwin is methodically dismantling the world Gus and those he works for in such a way that his little debt is going to paid in fully.
Loved Gus saying, I’d kill for a Cigarette.
Nice leaving the little portion of the clean up crew hearing the voice. But forgetting about it considering that they may just have another dead person that needed to be shipped to the morgue.
Till the next Novel,
Keep up the excellent work
Hearns
The more I think about it the more Edwin reminds me of the Buddha teaching King Monkey patience by burying him under a mountain in ‘Journey to the West’ 西遊記 :p
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUiIzGAJrPM&feature=related
By far my favorite podcast, for years now. Rich, deep, the world stuck between indifference and ignorance, both with practically unlimited power.
The horror.
wow. up until now, the fact that edwin really is insane didn’t fully hit me. I thought he was trying to show Excelsior the error of his ways, with the intention of releasing him back into the world free of the Government’s grasp. (With some angle in it for Edwin enterprises of course) But he instead just wanted revenge, and used his big brain justify it to himself. If Edwin truly believes that one man with too much power is bad, then he should have sat down in the concrete slurry himself – his brains are just as disproportionately powerful harmful to “regular folk” as Excelsior ’s brawn. If he didn’t allow Excelsior the luxury of ignorance as an excuse, he shouldn’t allow it for himself either. Instead he has deluded himself,despite his inordinate brain power, into thinking concentrated power is bad, unless it is in Edwin’s hands.
“Edwin truly believes that one man with too much power is bad”
I’m not sure Edwin believes that. I think he was telling Excelsior what he should believe if Excelsior is to consider himself a hero.
“But he instead just wanted revenge, and used his big brain justify it to himself.”
That’s true, I think. Excelsior hurt Edwins business, so eliminating him makes sense. Getting Excelsior to choose to be entombed, that’s torture. That’s revenge.
Or… a ploy to prevent Excelsior from trying to escape and/or something to hold Excelsior back (for a while) if he does ever get out.
Burying the “hero” in the concrete is villainous, but it’s *practical* in a way that would appeal to Edwin’s rationally evil mind, if you assume that Excelsior, alive and free, causes Edwin more trouble than he’s worth.
The apparently irrational part of Edwin’s behavior here, IMO, would be bothering to go down and *talk* to Excelsior and convince him of the whole thing, instead of just pouring in the concrete and giving Excelsior no option.
If you allow the possibility that Edwin *is* still being rational, then it follows that the little chat was necessary in order to effect some purpose. Under that assumption, I think you’d be forced to the inescapable conclusion that Edwin expects Excelsior to get out again at some point, probably during Edwin’s lifetime. Otherwise, why tell him anything? The only possible rational reason to have the chat is so that Excelsior will spend the next N months wallowing in regret, rather than just anger. The only rational reason to want that is because it allows him to later be manipulated in more useful ways, if and when he gets out. Edwin’s been manipulating Excelsior for a while, sometimes quite successfully, especially on the golf course. He might still have a use for him. Potentially.
Of course, Excelsior might not get out during the next book. But even if he does not, it will remain a possibility for later, *especially* if Gus is still around and looking for the body.
Hmm. My above comment does not manage to indicate how huge a fan I am of the entire Edwin series. Well, I am. How do I donate to the “make more Edwin” fund?
Hi Peter,
Of course this is just speculation, but the way I read Gus’s miraculous recovery suggested to me that Excelsior isn’t dead, just entombed.
And hey, a decade under concrete will probably mellow him out a bit :p
Anyone else read it that way?
yeah, as a reader we can assume that’s the case. But I think Edwin was pretty sure he was killing him.
I think it will either mellow him out or make him insane. If he comes back insane and starts wreaking havoc, maybe Edwin would finally realize he’s not perfect
Excellent ending. I’m left wondering if there is some sort of trick to Gus’ recovery though. If there is something more about him that we don’t know. I don’t think he’s any sort of superhero. That’s obvious from the story so far. But I wouldn’t put it past the people Gus works for to play around with certain advanced and highly unethical technologies to keep him alive. Not young and healthy, mind you, so that he might enjoy it. Just alive enough to remain useful to them. I can picture him finding out, and being pretty pissed off about it.
At no point did any official say that Gus was dead. Edwin had him poisoned. Everyone else assumed he was dead.
Quite excellent. Toast to you! I liked hearing Edwin’s reasoning.
Thanks for the story.
Patrick,
your site seems to have a bug: clicking on “Contact” at the top of the page shows a page with “[contact-form 404 "Not Found"]“
Indeed.
Wow…
Good stuff. Really, good show. THIS is the end we were all expecting from Edwin.
Just one thing, it’s minor, but I thought it should be mentioned and since no one else here has…
The mission Edwin takes up him self, of _extermination_ seems perfectly inline with his character and the story so far. It ties very nicely with “Edwin walking the hall” where in he debates exactly the same dichotomy. It really fits.
Sadly the same cannot be said of his sudden ambition to “take over the world.” This is why the old ending rang false for us diehard fans.
Getting to the point, the problem has become an inherent contradiction, with the chapters 68-70 making it seem like he was moving forward towards world domination, while the “true ending” or epilogue makes him move towards the extermination of “harmful” super”heroes”.
The two just don’t work together.
It’s a minor problem, but I just wanted to put it out there.
I don’t know if it rings really false that he would move towards world domination. His drive for world domination doesn’t really seem to be about power. It seems to be more about the fact that he can’t stand looking at the world the way it is. It’s too inefficient. Edwin likes it best when things work the way he knows they should. His drive to exterminate superheroes is a part of that desire for world domination because superheroes are part of the problem that he is attempting to solve.
The point is not whether they can be resolved by the same logic, or thought of in line with one another. The problem is that they are fundamentally different ways to move forward, different paths towards the ultimate goal of a world sound in reason.
Extermination of superheroes is making the world rational by removing the destabilizing element. I.E. An identification of a specific problem and a direct solution
Taking over the world is making it rational by ensuring he is in a position to determine everything, and then making rational choices for irrational people. I.E. more of a general solution to the irrationality of man, and then a direct solution: Making the choices for them.
It just is a problem of the scope/approach that Edwin has for the future.
The problem is the difrence
beautiful
awww, you cant kill superheros by sticking them in concrete! thats just like putting clamps on their tires! anyway, powerfull ending, huzzah.
So, what are your plans for the future? A new book? More podcasts? Do we keep checking in or is this _The End_?
The completion of this new version caught me off guard and I’ve just spent an obsessive several hours listening to the story. Half way through, something started bugging me and at the end my biggest complaint was that I don’t see anyway on the sight to give the author money. >:D
theres a sequal right? please say theres a sequal.
After listening to this I had to go back and listen to the whole story again, which is why I’m only posting this comment now.
I have to echo the words of others in saying that I am in love with this story, and with the powerful way it’s ended. If it doesn’t get published I will be extremely disappointed in every person who had it pass through their fingers.
I’ve also got to say that I support the addition of a donation button to the site, or maybe a store? Anything to give you a little revenue in return for the wonderful journey through Edwin’s development. As an aspiring writer you are one of my greatest role models, and I look forward to anything else from you in the future.
Accidentally stumbled on this article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windsor_knot.
Nicely researched and done… Mr. Edward Windsor… Thanks again for the story.
I enjoyed the whole story, and like everyone else, will be waiting for the sequel, because obviously its set up for a sequel. I adore Edwin, thank you.
My first exposure to Edgar Allen Poe was your hauntingly delivered reading of “A Cask of Amontillado” a while back. I can’t help but think your fascination with Poe’s writing influenced Excelsior’s mode of demise. Well adapted.
It’s been great listening to you grow as a writer. Honestly, this latest rendition of HTSiE is more than a few notches above the early “A Vampire in the Attic.”
Keep on chuggin’. Can’t wait to see how Gus manages after three months of muscular inactivity.